Not Funny
by christikat
Summary: Matt stumbles into an armed robbery. Explicit slash!


**Not Funny**

Matt was staring wide-eyed at the gun that was pointed at him. He had gone into the drugstore to pick up his new inhaler and not to stumble into an armed robbery. He felt like pouting about his bad luck but the perp was yelling at him which caused him to jump. His airways were constricting and he desperately hoped that he wasn't getting an asthma attack right now. Why the hell was John not with him? He'd know what to do or at least Matt would feel much safer with John being around. As much as John's protectiveness and possessiveness could drive him up the wall on some days, he really craved it now.

Suddenly he was pulled into the direction of the owner of the drugstore and the muzzle of the gun was pressed against his temple. Matt flinched but gritted his teeth. He was scared, there was no point of arguing this fact, but he wasn't going to show his fear. Well, not too much anyway.

The perp was getting more and more agitated, leaving Matt with a dreadful feeling in his stomach. Frantically he thought about how to rescue himself but his brain had shut down. The guy was much taller and sturdy than Matt so overpowering him was probably not going to work. His breathing became more and more labored as he willed himself to keep the panic at bay.

All of sudden bellowing voices filled the room and the sounds of gunshots echoed around the walls. Matt pulled himself free from the perpetrator and crouched on the floor, curling himself together to a small ball. It seemed to take forever until the noise dampened down. Matt was startled when someone touched his shoulder and asked him if he was okay. He was about to say yes but he couldn't squeeze out a single word. There was simply not enough breath left to speak. He rummaged in his backpack and retrieved the old inhaler. He pointed at it and hoped that whomever he was talking to was quick on the uptake.

"Do you need to inhale?"

Matt nodded and finally was able to croak out, " 's empty. Wanted to pick up my new one here."

The man picked up his inhaler and showed it to the owner of the drugstore who quickly got Matt's new one. The first wave of panic was enveloping him and he clawed at his throat, wishing he could just rip it open. He almost dropped the new inhaler to the floor when it got pushed into his hand. His hands trembled but eventually he was able to get a first puff out, then a second one. He slumped against the wall when the air finally reached his lungs again.

XXXXX

Matt was sitting in an ambulance when he heard someone arguing. A smile formed on his face, he'd recognize this voice anywhere. When John came into view he called out for him,

"John, over here!"

John turned around and briskly walked over to the ambulance. Matt swallowed hard; he wanted nothing more than to crawl into the other man's arms. Since that was completely out of the question – at least as long as they were in public – he simply waited for John to reach him.

John inspected him quickly, then asked, "Hey, are you okay?"

"Sure. Well, I am now. Had an asthma attack, go figure."

John frowned and turned to the paramedic, inquiring, "Is he really okay?"

The paramedic nodded but suggested, "He should take a backup inhaler with him."

"Oh, he will. I'll make sure of that."

Matt couldn't stop himself from rolling his eyes about John's statement. Sure, that was John's way of showing concern but there were days when such comments simply pissed him off. He was exhausted, emotionally and physically, and without thinking he blurted, "I have to say that I'm a bit disappointed in you. You're awfully late to the party. Wasn't it dangerous enough for you to come to my rescue or did it not meet your standards of rescuing the world?"

The small smile on John's face thinned during Matt's little speech until nothing was left of it. It was replaced with a hard to interpret look, causing Matt to feel uneasy and squirm on the stretcher. John turned around and walked away without answering Matt's question. Matt gathered his belongings in a hurry and sprinted after John, shouting, "John! Hey John, wait! I was _joking_."

He caught up with John but was only rewarded with a deep scowl. He was starting to wheeze again. "Could you slow down a bit?"

Concern fluttered over John's face. Although he didn't say anything he slowed down and guided Matt through the crowd with resting one hand on the small of Matt's back. Feeling bolder Matt tried again, "Joking; you know the thing some people do to make fun? I'm sure you've heard about it."

"Your comment wasn't even remotely funny, _kid_."

Uh-oh – _kid_. Not Matt or babe, John had called him kid. Great, just fucking great, exactly what he needed after having been held as a hostage and suffering from an asthma attack. The pressure on the small of his back increased and John all but shoved him towards his car. Matt slid onto the passenger seat and fidgety fiddled with his backpack. He glanced over to John who grazed him with one of those murderous scowls that coerced Matt into sinking even deeper into the seat.

John pulled out into the traffic, giving Matt time to study him. His jaw was tightly clenched, lips pressed together to a thin line and the eyes narrowed. Matt's gaze wandered downwards, discovering that John's arm-muscles were taut; his whole body radiated barely hidden tension. John's body language showed clearly how unamused he was about Matt's comment. Matt opened his mouth, hoping to be able to conciliate John but was cut off in advance by a growled, "Sometimes it is better to keep your mouth shut, kid."

Matt really wanted to give a snippy remark about John calling him kid but something in John's voice set his inner alarm bells off. He closed his mouth and stared out of the window. They stayed silent during the ride home although Matt couldn't help but glance at John throughout the cutting silence.

XXXXX

The silent ride home had been unnerving. Matt was relieved to escape the confinement of the car but the relief lasted only for a short moment. A sideglance confirmed that John was still holding back his anger. They entered the apartment with Matt waiting for a spectacular blow-up from John. He couldn't even argue that it was an unjustified blow-up this time. His _joke_ had been plain stupid.

Matt wondered how he was supposed to get out of the doghouse anytime soon. John had gone into the kitchen and grabbed a can of beer from the fridge. Plain exhaustion took its toll on Matt. Tiredly he mumbled, "I'm going to take a shower."

He trudged over to their bedroom and stripped out of his shirts and jeans. Instead of going into the bathroom he slumped down on the edge of the bed, feeling incredibly thrown off balance. Heavy shivers began to surge through his body. His teeth chattered at the memory of hard steel being pressed against his temple. Matt jumped when John's warm hands ghosted over his cool skin, declaring, "The adrenaline is wearing off."

"I know."

Matt's whole body jerked from the shivering fits even though he tried his best to get a grip on them. He gave a startled yelp when John manhandled him to lie flat on his back in the middle of the bed. The cool sheets felt uncomfortable against his bare skin, causing him to shiver even more. He was about to sit up again when John's hand came to a rest on his sternum, keeping him down.

John undressed before he crawled on the bed too. Matt would deny that he was the one who gave this soft, mewling sound when John blanketed him with his body. Instinctively Matt's legs wrapped around John's waist while his hands clutched tightly at his lover's back. John nuzzled Matt's collarbone and tenderly yet firmly rubbed over Matt's flanks.

Matt kept on shaking and shivering and with that caused the bed to rattle. To distract himself and because it felt so damn good to be close to John, he started dropping little kisses on John's bald head. At first the kisses were tentative, cautious. He was unsure if John was too angry about his earlier comment to accept his affectionate gestures but quickly got disabused by John's reactions.

John trailed a path of firm kisses from Matt's collarbone all over his face until he started to nibble at Matt's lower lip. A soft moan escaped Matt when John's tongue slipped into his mouth, exploring, licking, teasing. John's hands traveled from his flanks down to his ass, kneading the flesh there. Matt's hips jerked upwards, grinding against the older man, searching for friction.

He didn't think that he would be up to any kind of sex after the events earlier but didn't mind to be disabused again. He groaned when John's hands slipped into his boxershorts where he made himself busy with cupping Matt's globes in his hands. Matt was always amazed at how perfectly his ass cheeks molded into John's hands – they were clearly made for those talented hands.

Matt canted his hips upwards, hoping that John would get the clue. Another groan was ripped from his throat when John pressed his hard cock against Matt's. Only thin layers of garment were separating them and Matt could only think about John claiming him. He kept on kissing John while he tried to reach the bottle with lube on the nightstand.

Suddenly the kisses stopped and John heaved himself up on all fours. He stared down at a panting Matt and asked, "The shivering stopped. Guess you're okay then."

Matt's eyes widened in disbelief. Surely John wouldn't stop _now_ just because Matt was warmed up efficiently? "You're not going to punish me now with leaving me to take care of myself, do you?"

He breathed a sigh of relief when a wicked smile crossed John's face. "I'd punish myself with that. Get naked."

Matt smirked upon hearing John's command and obeyed immediately. He was just kicking his boxers off when a well-lubed finger breached his sphincter. "Oh geez! Greedy much, aren't you?"

"Did you say something, _kid_?"

"Um, would you be so kind and get on with it?"

John chuckled and bent down, peppering Matt's chest and stomach with kisses. He kept on preparing Matt who tucked his legs up to give him better access. All tension flew out of his body while he concentrated solely on the feeling of John's fingers moving within him, John's lips brushing over his skin. When he thought he couldn't bear the sensations anymore he begged, "John, _please_."

It got John's immediate reaction. Matt lifted up his pelvis and John knelt between his parted legs. He watched John rolling a condom over his dick before he lathered it with a generous amount of lube. Matt licked his lips which gained him one of those lopsided smirks of John that he loved so much. The smirk soon made place for a more concentrated look on John's face when he positioned his cock at Matt's entrance. Matt's eyes fluttered shut as John pushed slowly but steadily into his body, filling him until he was completely sheathed in him.

Matt was breathing harshly and still adjusting to the thickness within him when John hoisted his legs over his shoulders, setting a slow pace of in-and-out moves. Matt was barely able to touch John which was driving him crazy. He wanted, he needed to touch, to feel John's hot skin underneath his fingertips. John's slow almost leisurely thrusts weren't enough.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck," Matt swore.

"What do you think we're doing?"

"It's not enough. Harder."

"God, Matt," John groaned, "you're going to be the death of me."

"But what a way to go, huh?"

Matt's chuckle changed into an appreciative moan when John pushed forward, bending Matt's knees until they were pressed against his chest. He shivered, knowing very well that he was in for a hell of a pounding which was _exactly_ what he yearned for. He was almost immovable with John bearing down on him and utterly vulnerable. That was one of the best parts of their relationship – Matt trusted John to a degree that was probably bordering on being plain crazy. Yet, it gave him a special thrill that caused his heart to thump wildly against his ribcage.

John kept on kissing Matt everywhere he could reach and Matt really wanted to reciprocate but the truth was that he was barely able to hold onto John's shoulders. Coherent thoughts fled him as John alternated between long strokes and short thrusts, always leaving Matt with the desire of wanting more. Warmth pooled in Matt's stomach while sizzling sparks of fire shot up his spine whenever John hit his gland. Matt moaned in pleasure, all his muscles were quivering when he gathered his last remaining brain cells to beg, "Harder, John. _Please_, no holding back."

Wether it was the desperate undertone of Matt's voice or something else entirely, Matt didn't care because he got what he wanted. John angled his hips a tad differently and slammed into Matt's welcoming body, hitting his gland over and over again. John had rested his forehead against Matt's clavicle, tickling him with hot puffs of air there. Matt couldn't even complain about the tickling as he was panting, sometimes screaming and begging until he came with a hoarse shout. He shuddered through his release and clenched around John's cock within him. John cursed, pushed into Matt with a few erratic thrusts, then rode out his climax.

Matt's body felt pleasantly pliant and sated when John's softened cock slipped out of him. John released Matt's trembling legs which earned him a hissed, "Ow, ow, ow."

"You okay?"

"Sure. I won't be able to sit down for a while but who cares."

John flipped them over so that Matt was sprawled out on top of him. He tucked Matt's head under his chin and rubbed over the younger man's back and butt. After a while he stopped with his ministrations and simply held Matt in a tight embrace.

They laid in comfortable afterglow-silence when John stated, "Never say something as stupid as you did when I came to pick up. _Never_. You'd be in for a real long spanking session."

"Is this meant to arouse or to intimidate me? Because I'm game for you bending me over your knees and spanking me." He grinned at feeling John's limp cock twitch. "Oh kinky. Here I thought you weren't into such kind of stuff."

John's hand came down hard on Matt's ass, causing him to yelp and jerk in John's arms. Mildly, John admonished, "You're definitely lacking respect to your elders."

Matt lifted up his head from his snuggly position and scooted up on John's body until he could kiss him properly. "You gotta teach me to be respectful."

John smirked when he replied, "I'll get right on that after we've slept a few hours." Sensing that Matt was about to give another cheeky remark John hushed him with laying a finger on top of his lips. "No joke about me getting old now. Right now I'm mellow enough to forgive you for your stupid remark."

"It was a _joke_. Okay, okay a bad, uh, _very_ bad one. I didn't think clearly, I was jumbled from everything that had happened. I'm not used to that kind of shit and … and I was scared because you weren't there," Matt rambled breathlessly.

"I'm here now."

Matt's face softened and he smiled down at John. He turned around to angle for the blanket and covered their sprawled bodies. He looked at John who watched him with fond affection, and gave John a long and intense kiss, expressing his feelings deeper with that than he would ever be able to express with words. He nestled up against John's body, using his chest as a pillow. Matt's breathing was evening out, indicating that he was asleep when John tightened his grip around him and dropped a tender kiss on his hair.

END


End file.
